A Whole Year of Yuck! Holidays of Horror! It's the Plush Calendar of Dooooom!
|Thanks to ToyNetwork churning out so many stupid, tacky, un-fitting and Sonic-sullying "holiday" plushes, they must all be corralled into one place to try and contain the dumb!
So...presenting the "Calendar of Crud", which is here to irritate your internet screen with a really lame photo showcase of all these lousy dolls. They're divided into different holiday catagories, because there were always several plushes for each 'occaision'.
Schlocktober: Halloween (No treats here...just tricks!)
|Sonic is wearing a cape and mask, it must be Halloween. But what is he supposed to be? "Something that wears a cape and mask". Where is the effort here? They didn't even give him a theme! And you can't take off the mask either.||Here's an Amy as either a fairy or a witch.|
|and Fairys don't wear pointed hats. Also note the cape worn over her regular dress. All in all this is just a strange and mixed up costume on a not-very-good at all doll. Foreward photo discovered by: Streakthefox|
|Uh oh, this must be the "Trick" part because Halloween Knuckles isn't even dressed up as anything. NO COSTUME. They couldn't even bother with how bad this thing is. Look at his tiny dumb fists! It's totally off model. All they did was sew on a stupid 'candy bag'. Do they even know what Halloween means? Their other figures are in "costumes", could it be they were running out of ugly and dumb things? (hint: NO.)|
|Tails is a prisoner of bad fashion with his cruddy costume. Yeah a 'scary face' on a cube! What is that? A square ghost? Mario's block gone wrong? Whatever it is, it is dumb! Tails shouldn't be a prisoner, the designer should! (who dresses as a prisoner for Halloween anyway?) At right you can see what the back looks like, and also that it came in a large 16 inch size if you want to maximize the misery/dumbness. Left photo discovered by: Calistine|
|Amy, they didn't even bother to dress up. She's just holding some jack o' lantern, which is likely a left-over from something else. She still suffers from wonky-eyes, messed up mouth and eye-lash attack, so even without the phony theme, she's still not any good.|
|Credit to ZenkaiKenny for finding this fiendish photo.|
|This is another of the 'minorly accessorized/rehash' plushes. The only thing "Halloween" about Sonic here is his 'pumpkin'. The letters are difficult to see, but that's not the main problem--which is the pumpkin looks a LOT like a giant orange! It is even textured like an orange & the leaves look JUST like orange leaves. A pumpkin leaf is broad & complex, totally unlike the leaves here. It's like they stole someone's orange.|
|This could appear at fall festivals 2008 in the USA. Aside from the gimmicy 'pumpkin' Sonic does not look all that terrible here. Could they be making an effort? Also here you can see the tag present on official Toy Network plushes. This is a bit over 12 inches high. Photo by: SonikkaLad|
|Oh no. Now this thing is just a monstrosity of stupid.
It's embarassing how bad this thing is! First, the costume has no theme. A wizard hat (likely stolen from the above Amy Rose) in purple, a pumpkin t-shirt (why? that's not a costume) and then of all things, PINK POLKA-DOT TIGHTS!
Ugh, that's right Sonic in pink and yellow polka-dot pants/tights. What is this madness. Every single element clashes purple/orange/hot pink/red the costume has no theme, and the whole idea is just bad bad bad. How could they stand to make this? Discovered by TanyaHedgehog21
|Noxious Knuckles! Here is 'devil Knuckles' in their cheezyest halloween horror get up. Shadow has taken a turn as a devil, so now it's time to churn out a lame Knuckles with stupid horns headband and wilting pitchfork. Since Knuckles has no fingers...it looks like the pitchfor is giving|
|Sonic's parade of pathetic costumes continues with this scurvey pirate outfit. With a cheezy, tiny hat & bogus looking eye-patch, Sonic's all faked-up for Halloween once again. Plus his mouth is sewn on vertically & his belly dot is pointy. Not to mention the cone-like wrinkly spikes. Mutant gear keeps Halloween 'scary' for the wrong reasons! Discovered by Fuzzball Raccoon.|
|'the finger' for him! (Because it is made out of such rubbish cloth that it can't even be streight so instead it is noodly and worse) Who's idea was it to spam out yet another nasty plush....Satan? Photographed and owned by SonicHOG|
|It's Halloween in Mushville! Shadow is holding a lame excuse for a pitchfork & has red devil horns on the still-too wide stripe of red. They can never fix the faces on these poor things. The devil? give me a break.|
December: Crock of Christmas (someone's been bad this year)
|I have some hideous striped fabric left over. Let's give it to Knuckles! Oh and we can make him more 'wintery' if we glue a piece of shabby felt to his feet and then claim he's "Snowboarding"! Sounds brilliant, those nerds will buy anything we churn out!||Ho-Ho-Oh-No!
This is neither Holly nor Jolly, it is Sonic dressed (badly) as a stupid looking Christmas elf! Now his body is all green, and he has a festive vest and nasty striped hat. They've changed his shoes to elf-shoes as well, as you can see in the bottom of the picture. So basically what this is, is some elf body with a Sonic head sewn on top. You'll have a holiday of horrors if this is under your tree! Discovered by SuperSonic1497
|The crock of Christmas continues with these lame dolls! How do you make something "Xmas" without any real effort? Why, just add in a lame flat candy cane probably found in a bin!
Here, the only holiday aspect of Sonic and Tails is that they've had a candy cane sewn to their hand.
Knuckles is next as "Santa's Failure" er, "Santa's Helper"
|Now, they try adding a lame green shirt & hat to a rather irritated looking Knuckles doll to try and get people to buy this horrible 'holiday plush'|
|The winter doldrums continue with this strange Amy Rose doll. Her dress is white, her shoes are black & she has on a top hat? A badly done top hat, at that! What's she supposed to be for? Again, they used too large of plastic eyes, & her ears are rather mis-shapen
However, other than her odd theme, eyes, ears & terrible hat, this plush isn't totally awful. Could they be making an effort...? Photo by: streak the fox
|What was kicked out of Santa's Sleigh? Probably this. Minimal effort & maximum dumb are added with antlers sewn to her headband & the usual crummy candy cane. Eyelash also sewn on so it falls down? Check. Over-size eye plastics? You got it. Rather get coal? Yes. Discovered by: Super Silver|
|Even though 'winter' isn't a holiday, they seem to be trying to cram the crud in all year long. Here comes "Snow Tails". This doesn't make any sense really either, he's got on a 'snow suit' obviously but why the top hat? Is he trying to imiatate Frosty the Snowman? Scrooge? The black pom-poms and hood (yes thats what the small scrap is in the back) seems to suggest that this is some kind of snow-man costume. But really who dresses up as a snowman for no particular reason? He has a snowman head on a stick...is it a lolly-pop? A mask? Does he like decapitating flat snowmen?|
|The doll beneath still has problems, such as semi-flat tails, one eye not being on streight -at all-, and over-stuffed nearly circular feet. It's not as bad as some, but it still doesn't make sense. Photo discovered by: Fuzzball Raccoon.|
Feb-Spew-ary: Valentines (there's no love here)
|2 holidays together for more to make fun of at once!
Here we have "Valentines Knuckles". How Valentines is he? NOT. All they did was write onto his body (What is this, a tattoo??) "Be my valentine" like one of those terrible cheap bears that show up every year that no one actually wants! Argh! Sonic stuff is not some cheap holiday throw-a-way!
Easter Tails gets a similar amount of effort with a tacked on "Easter Egg" and nothing else. However, this Tails isn't particularly 'mutated' that badly. Yes, the theme is corney...but the plush itself isn't the "Worst thing ever" like some of their other failures. Hmmm.
|Are you ready for a double shot of lame Amys?
Too bad. If you need to guess, these are probably Valentines and Easter Amy. Again, they swapped out the fabric for her dress (with polka dot!) and added some annoying accessory. In this case, the heart says "Darling" on it and the flower also has words. However, you can't really read them in this photo.
Notice Valentine Amy's black eye rim?
It's mostly missing, save for a few tiny scrap like bits and her eyelashes. It looks like something has gone wrong with this plush...aside from the lame theme and wrinkly arms!
|Don't be this thing's valentine!
Oh no, even valentines day gets the bad treatment with this plush line. Here, Tails is holding a shabby rose and they have glued on some stupid "Love You" heart sticker. They've also stretched out his head and not even bothered to try with his ears. The holiday horrors continue...
|Here's another Amy that has to be assumed is for V-day. She's got a boquet of roses and some mysterious hearts scattered on one glove. Her headband has also had a bow added, and her dress is cut low in front (note pink showing at top) While somewhat mutant (doughey feet, giant plastic eyes) she's not super horrible. Discovered by Streakthefox.|
|Just what is going on here? It's anybody's guess with this terrible Tails!
Just what does dressing up in overalls like a freakish farmer have to do with Valentines day? Nothing! Also, check out that tiny beanie hat on his head! What's going on there, it's WAY too small and stupid. (close up) The doll itself is also rotten, the too-small eyes make the expression frightful, and the tails are like stupid fins coming out of opposite sides of his butt. This thing is just a pile of crazy junk...what ARE they thinking? Photo discovered by: SuperSilver
|This Sonic Plush is holding some wierd heart on a stem, but for once, they've chosen to write something appropriate on it: "The Love Stops Here". Why yes....yes it does...because everyone HATES this pathetic plush! He's got that part right, at least. Sonic's glove cuffs have hearts on them, and the stripes of his shoes and socks also use hearts-on-white fabric. But his lack of ears, tall frankenstein-like head, unevenly sewn eyes and bent up spikes are the usual ToyNetwork failure-fare. How does this calander of crud keep on getting more and more entries? Photo discovered by: SuperSilver|
|Hearts and flowers are hardly Shadow's style, but that doesn't stop ToyNetwork from creating this shabby Shadow doll! He's sure to insult Shadow fans with his heart-fabric shoes and gloves, while his dome-like messed up head and ultra-wide stripe ensure he's ugly. Their problem also remains with putting on plastic eye-centers that are much too large for the doll, making it look drunk/scary/stupid. He's holding a boquet with gold lace...and the title for "Very out of character"! Photo discovered by SuperSilver.|
|How do you celebrate Valentines? By putting on the stupidest hat you can find and wearing a shabby red shirt? NO. That's for the calendar of crud Sonic doll to do...poorly.|
|Now with extra stupid! The buckle is on the wrong side of his shoe too because they don't care about Sonic at all and they glue the worst hat ever onto his head and the doll looked like junk from the beginning. Photo discovered by BlueBlur.|
|Yet another Valentines Sonic...but there's something strange about this one--it's not too terrible! The doll itself is relativly normal looking, and they have not added any awful costume or stupid accessory. He is holding a plush heart that says "My Sweetheart" on it but|
|it is not extremely shabby or lame looking either. Could they be turning over a new leaf and not making only horrible holiday dolls? The tag will have ToyNetwork & the 15th anniversary logo on it. Photographed & owned by cityescape|
|Knuckles & his boquet of bad is here to attack Valentines. All the standard lameness is present, shrivelled flat fists that are malformed, poorly positioned eyes, crummy add-on that makes no sense (Knuckles is never romantic), withered spikes and a wiggly head. But, at least you can scare away your anti-love on V-day with this terrible plush. Discovered by Sonicboy19|
|Even though there are THREE other lame Amy Rose valentine dolls...why not churn out another, but be even lazier than usual! All they've done here is change out her whtie fabric for white with corney hearts on it. They also replaced her headband with a dorky bow. But if that wasn't enough to make you not want to buy it, they add giant looney plastic eyes in an inappropriate size for the doll. All around bad & lazy. Discovered by Fuzzball Raccoon|
|Talk about un-love-able, this nasty floppy wrinkly Shadow is here to spoil the mood on Valentines day. His wonkey eyes & wiggly mouth help to wreck his look, while his ears are growing out of the wrong places on his head. They use their oh so "clever" white fabric with hearts on it for his gloves and shoe tops. He is holding a plush heart with "I heart U" on it, to make him more like one of those super cheap-o teddies that appear this time of year. Discovered by Tailsy the Fox|
|This Valentines Tails could have had a bit of potential.
If the execution had actually been any good. Lots of characters appear around this holiday holding a cute card or a heart or something, which is clearly what Toy Network was going for. But, because their doll pattern isn't very good (still) it doesn't really work. The envelope he's holding is wrinkly & a bit wiggly but it says "Be My Valentine" in the heart. The Tails is otherwise unchanged though. (Not as if that's a good thing, with his oddly shaped ears, strange face-edge fur, kind of scary eyes, shrivelly shoes & general not-so-great composition) While this one's not great, it's also not super messed up, absurd or plain awful like a lot of the others here. Which makes it not fit in.
March: St. Patrick's Day (It's not lucky on here!)
|Not even Ireland is safe from the bad doll attack!
Here's St Patrick's Amy. This day is supposed to be lucky, but whoever obtains this nasty doll sure isn't! First off: cruddy, wilty, wrinkly crown (why? Is she the queen of lame?) Then, her dress is just green fabric with a picture of a crown on it and the word "Irish". Who wears just a shirt with 'Irish' on it? No one! Also, they've changed her boots to green, and none of it goes well with her regular color. Her face is flat...but curiously enough it's not as bad as some of the previous Amys.
|This Sonic is very strange. IS he really for St. Patrick's day? He has no other accessories, but his shoes have been switched rather inexplicably to a green theme. If he's NOT for St. Pats...then what's going on here? Super lazy? Whatever it is, it's mutant gear! The plush itself isn't too awful...but the green shoes are very strange. Discovered by Berzerker.|
April/Spring: Easter (Egg-Hunt for the quality! You can't find it!)
|Now it gets confusing as the holiday horror show keeps turning around the calander.
You've ALREADY seen Easter Amy to the left...so what is she dressed for this time? What's with that stupid hat? Would Amy Rose really wear that frumpy dress? And who decided to sew her mouth on TOTALLY SIDEWAYS?
|Ugh. "Easter Amy" All they did was sew on a basket and bogus bonnet to claim it's an Easter Plush. Unfortunatly, there wasn't anything to do about her horrible eye-positions, and groucho-black eyelashes. This thing is messed up!|
|How wrong is it that Shadow wears a purple 'happy easter' shirt? TOTALLY! More huge-stripe and fly-eyes mess here, the stupid shirt is just the barfy icing on the mud-cake!|
|Even more Easter, now with Egg Painting Sonic...ugh
Sonic is ready to decorate his really tacky egg with a rather mutant paint brush. The egg isn't even Easter-like, with bright zig-zags...but that's the least of it's troubles. As you can surely see, Sonic's feet are almost BALLS on the ends of his legs. The bottom of the shoe is so puffy that it has lost all it's shape. Toy Network Sonics all also seem to suffer from 'bent down ears', and this one is not much different, but at least 1 ear is making part of an effort to stay up.
However, the face on this one isn't 100% horrible.
|This plush is pure, inappropriate lameness. Photo discovered by: streakthefox|
|Not even moms are safe from mutations!
Not content to make a mess of the usual holidays, now the calander of crud includes Mother's Day...with this shabby Sonic. He's just holding the standard pink heart (like those junky teddy bears no one wants!) and is otherwise unchanged from their usual swills. Bent over ears, shabby shoe straps, mushy face...you've got it all right here to make sure mom gets some irrelevant shabby gift. (Maybe it's meant for chasing away a nasty mother-in-law?) Photo discovered by: streakthefox
|Ruining down the bunny-trail, here comes Easter Ears Amy! This scary doll comes with stupid pink bunny ears, and a basket of eggs. But look at the egg, it's that tacky one from Sonic, above! Discovered by SonicFan09|
|Easter is time for eggs, but this one's clearly a Rotten Egg! Giant-eyes Tails has a boring yellow "Happy Easter" egg sewn under one arm. He's still got all their lame mistakes like thin, wormy tails, gray ear-insides and a not-very-well sculpted face. However, this one at least seems to be stuffed properly. Photo discovered by Coccoa the Fox|
|As if 1 terrible Tails holding a cheapo Easter egg wasn't enough, here comes another one! This time he has a shabby paint brush & tacky pink egg. Discovered by MrCalistine|
Jul...WHY?: 4th Of July USA Independance Day (Not Free From Dumb)
|Now just what is this.
Come on. Another bogus plush, this time with a really mutant 'hat'of some kind. It's obviously some sort of attempt at Patriotic Sonic but it's just so miserable! No one can even tell what that horrible hat is supposed to be. It's like a stars and stripes ice-cream cone started trying to eat Sonic's head.
If toy network wants to make horrible Sonic dolls, the least they could do is leave poor America out of it. But, they go for the bizzarre and annoying on every level so not even the USA is safe from attacks of 'badly made'.
|Stop insulting America with these LAME plushes! It's making it look like America is full of ugly cheap junk! (well, it does have some ugly cheap junk, but it really appriciates good stuff...) This selection puts people into fear that there may be a "Patriotic Knuckles" let's hope we never find him! (oh, too late now)
Amy here has wrinkle spikes, a horrible anti-fashion USA Flag dress, and melty legs. Tails is dressed like Uncle Sam, and Sonic has a slap-on "Home of the Brave" shirt and phony flag. You'd have to be brave, to tolerate these plushes!
|Well here's "patriotic Knuckles" They didn't even do anything to this one aside from adding in some dumb "America the beautiful" t-shirt. Well it's less pretty now that it's got this doll in it...|
|However. Aside from having on some inappropriate T-shirt, this Knuckles isn't their usual awful fare. The eyes are on the face, and it's not totally disproportionate. The fists are flat,|
|and the knuckle spikes are small and shrivelled, but it is far less than their usual offense. His head spikes are kind of oddly done, but the tail curve and body size is actually starting to make sense. This guy doesn't even seem like he belongs with the above monstrosities. Could they actually be making an effort? Photos by kaji123.|
|Not 1 but TWO dumb 4th of July themed Amys? 1 was more than enough to try & wreck up Independence Day. Now here's "Liberty Amy" with stupid silver random 'liberty crown' thing... the statue was never even silver, it was always brown or green. The crown looks like heavy metal spikes or something. Her dress now says "Happy Birthday America", but this doll is so ugly it guarentees an UNhappy birthday with stubby limbs (shoes sticking out of dress!) fat ears, and horribly positioned too-big plastic eyes. Her expression is frowny too...but with that junky crown... no one would be happy. Photo discovered by: KatAndSilver||This is probably part of a more complete (and ugly) "Uncle Sam" type dressed Sonic doll. It's got the tacky nonsense pants but no stupid shirt. Why are the buckles on TOP of his shoes?|
|The same reason for his wilted ears & mushy face: bad quality as usual! Photo discovered by Chaos Control Luigi|
|Boy Knuckles doll here sure is....crazy....for the 4th! (Or something) This overzealous looking plush looks like it has that stupid "America" themed headband/crown/bandana (what is it even) on too tight & it's pulling his face up. What are these crowns? Obviously it's the same Amy as above but nobody ever wore these trying to be like the statue of liberty. The statue started out copper colored then turned green! It was never silver or flag-themed with inexplicable cones all over. Why do they want to dump on America with so much dumb from these dolls? July? Jul-SIGH.|