A Whole Year of Yuck! Holidays of Horror! It's the Plush Calendar of Dooooom!
|Thanks to ToyNetwork churning out so many stupid, tacky, un-fitting and Sonic-sullying "holiday" plushes, they must all be corralled into one place to try and contain the dumb!
So...presenting the "Calendar of Crud", which is here to irritate your internet screen with a really lame photo showcase of all these lousy dolls. They're divided into different holiday catagories, because there were always several plushes for each 'occaision'.
Schlocktober: Halloween (No treats here...just tricks!)
|Sonic is wearing a cape and mask, it must be Halloween. But what is he supposed to be? "Something that wears a cape and mask". Where is the effort here? They didn't even give him a theme! And you can't take off the mask either.||Here's an Amy as either a fairy or a witch.|
|and Fairys don't wear pointed hats. Also note the cape worn over her regular dress. All in all this is just a strange and mixed up costume on a not-very-good at all doll. Foreward photo discovered by: Streakthefox|
|Uh oh, this must be the "Trick" part because Halloween Knuckles isn't even dressed up as anything. NO COSTUME. They couldn't even bother with how bad this thing is. Look at his tiny dumb fists! It's totally off model. All they did was sew on a stupid 'candy bag'. Do they even know what Halloween means? Their other figures are in "costumes", could it be they were running out of ugly and dumb things? (hint: NO.)|
|Tails is a prisoner of bad fashion with his cruddy costume. Yeah a 'scary face' on a cube! What is that? A square ghost? Mario's block gone wrong? Whatever it is, it is dumb! Tails shouldn't be a prisoner, the designer should! (who dresses as a prisoner for Halloween anyway? It's not even fun.) At right you can see what the back looks like, and also that it came in a large 16 inch size if you want to maximize the misery/dumbness. Left photo discovered by: Calistine|
|Amy, they didn't even bother to dress up. She's just holding some jack o' lantern, which is likely a left-over from something else. She still suffers from wonky-eyes, messed up mouth and eye-lash attack, so even without the phony theme, she's still not any good.|
|Credit to ZenkaiKenny for finding this fiendish photo.|
|This is another of the 'minorly accessorized/rehash' plushes. The only thing "Halloween" about Sonic here is his 'pumpkin'. The letters are difficult to see, but that's not the main problem--which is the pumpkin looks a LOT like a giant orange! It is even textured like an orange & the leaves look JUST like orange leaves. A pumpkin leaf is broad & complex, totally unlike the leaves here. It's like they stole someone's orange & chose bad color to write on it.|
|This could appear at fall festivals 2008 in the USA. Aside from the gimmicy 'pumpkin' Sonic does not look all that terrible here. Could they be making an effort? Also here you can see the tag present on official Toy Network plushes. This is a bit over 12 inches high. Photo by: SonikkaLad|
|Oh no. Now this thing is just a monstrosity of stupid.
It's embarassing how bad this thing is! First, the costume has no theme. A wizard hat (likely stolen from the above Amy Rose) in purple, a pumpkin t-shirt (why? that's not a costume) and then of all things, PINK POLKA-DOT TIGHTS!
Ugh, that's right Sonic in pink and yellow polka-dot pants/tights. What is this madness. Every single element clashes purple/orange/hot pink/red the costume has no theme, and the whole idea is just bad bad bad. How could they stand to make this? Discovered by TanyaHedgehog21
|Noxious Knuckles! Here is 'devil Knuckles' in their cheezyest halloween horror get up. Shadow has taken a turn as a devil, so now it's time to churn out a lame Knuckles with stupid horns headband and wilting pitchfork. Since Knuckles has no fingers...it looks like the pitchfork is giving 'the finger' for him! (Because it is made out of such rubbish cloth that it|
|Sonic's parade of pathetic costumes continues with this scurvey pirate outfit. With a cheezy, tiny hat & bogus looking eye-patch, Sonic's all faked-up for Halloween once again. Plus his mouth is sewn on vertically & his belly dot is pointy. Not to mention the cone-like wrinkly spikes. Mutant gear keeps Halloween 'scary' for the wrong reasons! Discovered by Fuzzball Raccoon.|
|can't even be streight so instead it is noodly and worse) Who's idea was it to spam out yet another nasty plush....Satan? Photographed and owned by SonicHOG|
|It's Halloween in Mushville! Shadow is holding a lame excuse for a pitchfork & has red devil horns on the still-too wide stripe of red. Is it supposed to be some corney headband, or do they have him actually growing stupid horns? WHY is this doll THIS BAD?? The head is just plain awful! What is even going on with the eyes? It's a 'scare' for Halloween, but not the sort they had in mind....as it's just scary how bad they let the quality get. They can never fix the faces on these poor things. The devil? The only devilry here is low-effort.|
|It's moppin' Knuckles!
Here's here to use one of those 'as seen on tv' strappy flappy gimmick mops to wipe up....well, hopefully wipe out the bad quality but we know that didn't happen. This is highly likely to be a Halloween doll, but you can't really tell exactly what's going on because it's so badly done. Is he a witch? A wizard of some kind? But only witches have brooms so maybe wizards have mops? Why? The stupid green thing is probably supposed to be a broom but it's so badly done that you can hardly tell.
He is also highly-likely to be dressed in something because between the feet/shoulder area you can see that it's too dark for him to be red there. It would need a photo of the doll, but laid out to see what else can go wrong. Photo by
December: Crock of Christmas (someone's been bad this year)
|Even though 'winter' isn't a holiday, they seem to be trying to cram the crud in all year long. Here comes "Snow Tails". This doesn't make any sense really either, he's got on a 'snow suit' obviously but why the top hat? Is he trying to imiatate Frosty the Snowman? Scrooge? The black pom-poms and hood (yes thats what the small scrap is in the back) seems to suggest that this is some kind of snow-man costume. But really who dresses up as a snowman for no particular reason? He has a snowman head on a stick...is it a lolly-pop? A mask? Does he like decapitating flat snowmen?|
|The doll beneath still has problems, such as semi-flat tails, one eye not being on streight -at all-, and over-stuffed nearly circular feet. It's not as bad as some, but it still doesn't make sense. Photo discovered by: Fuzzball Raccoon.|
There were too many cruddy Christmas plushes so you have to go to
Sonic Holiday Un-Special Page to see them.
Feb-Spew-ary: Valentines (there's no love here)
There were too many nasty Valentines Day plushes so you have to go to
Valentines Day Mutants Plushes Page to see them.
March: St. Patrick's Day (It's not lucky on here!)
|Not even Ireland is safe from the bad doll attack!
Here's St Patrick's Amy. This day is supposed to be lucky, but whoever obtains this nasty doll sure isn't! First off: cruddy, wilty, wrinkly crown (why? Is she the queen of lame?) Then, her dress is just green fabric with a picture of a crown on it and the word "Irish". Who wears just a shirt with 'Irish' on it? No one! Also, they've changed her boots to green, and none of it goes well with her regular color. Her face is flat...but curiously enough it's not as bad as some of the previous Amys.
|This Sonic is very strange. IS he really for St. Patrick's day? He has no other accessories, but his shoes have been switched rather inexplicably to a green theme. If he's NOT for St. Pats...then what's going on here? Super lazy? Whatever it is, it's mutant gear! The plush itself isn't too awful...but the green shoes are very strange. Discovered by Berzerker.|
April/Spring: Easter (Egg-Hunt for the quality! You can't find it!)
|Now it gets confusing as the holiday horror show keeps turning around the calander.
You've ALREADY seen Easter Amy to the left...so what is she dressed for this time? What's with that stupid hat? Would Amy Rose really wear that frumpy dress? And who decided to sew her mouth on TOTALLY SIDEWAYS?
|Ugh. "Easter Amy" All they did was sew on a basket and bogus bonnet to claim it's an Easter Plush. Unfortunatly, there wasn't anything to do about her horrible eye-positions, and groucho-black eyelashes. This thing is messed up!|
|Ruining down the bunny-trail, here comes Easter Ears Amy! This scary doll comes with stupid pink bunny ears, and a basket of eggs. But look at the egg, it's that tacky one from Sonic, above! What's odd, is, from the back it's not actually a terrible looking doll. They got her head spikes right, the tail is good, and the dress isn't a mess. Her shoes are also good/big from this angle as well. This actually makes it a bit more disapointing because it's clear they had potential, and then wasted it all on the terrible job at the face. Discovered by SonicFan09 & TheJakeanator.|
|Even more Easter, now with Egg Painting Sonic...ugh
Sonic is ready to decorate his really tacky egg with a rather mutant paint brush. The egg isn't even Easter-like, with bright zig-zags...but that's the least of it's troubles. As you can surely see, Sonic's feet are almost BALLS on the ends of his legs. The bottom of the shoe is so puffy that it has lost all it's shape. Toy Network Sonics all also seem to suffer from 'bent down ears', and this one is not much different, but at least 1 ear is making part of an effort to stay up.
However, the face on this one isn't 100% horrible.
|How wrong is it that Shadow wears a purple 'happy easter' shirt? TOTALLY! More huge-stripe and fly-eyes mess here, the stupid shirt is just the barfy icing on the mud-cake! Who even approved this rotten egg of a doll? Spring into stupid for sure with this.|
|Not even moms are safe from mutations!
Not content to make a mess of the usual holidays, now the calander of crud includes Mother's Day...with this shabby Sonic. He's just holding the standard pink heart (like those junky teddy bears no one wants!) and is otherwise unchanged from their usual swills. Bent over ears, shabby shoe straps, mushy face...you've got it all right here to make sure mom gets some irrelevant shabby gift. (Maybe it's meant for chasing away a nasty mother-in-law?) Photo discovered by: streakthefox
|This plush is pure, inappropriate lameness. Photo discovered by: streakthefox|
|Easter is time for eggs, but this one's clearly a Rotten Egg! Giant-eyes Tails has a boring yellow "Happy Easter" egg sewn under one arm. He's still got all their lame mistakes like thin, wormy tails, gray ear-insides and a not-very-well sculpted face. However, this one at least seems to be stuffed properly. Photo discovered by Coccoa the Fox|
|As if 1 terrible Tails holding a cheapo Easter egg wasn't enough, here comes another one! This time he has a shabby paint brush & tacky pink egg. Discovered by MrCalistine|
|Well, a holiday about eggs..."Easter Eggman" here probably tried to make sense. However, because of the cruddy quality, it just looks messed up. What's that hairy thing in his hand? It's a paint brush for his egg, however, why is it different/wierd/worse than the one the Tails has above? The egg is just some generic polka dot piece they've sewn under one arm because it's a huge egg for some reason. Eggman's body is a bit small, and his teeth are really big. They're so big, and evenly sized that it looks like a striped collar instead of a mouth. The goggles are also a minimal effort. All of this adds up to a strange and unappealing plush. Photo discovered by Pichu97|
Jul...WHY?: 4th Of July USA Independance Day (Not Free From Dumb)
|Now just what is this.
Come on. Another bogus plush, this time with a really mutant 'hat'of some kind. It's obviously some sort of attempt at Patriotic Sonic but it's just so miserable! No one can even tell what that horrible hat is supposed to be. It's like a stars and stripes ice-cream cone started trying to eat Sonic's head.
However, it is supposed to be like the Statue of Liberty's crown, but done up as an American flag theme.
|However, it is so poorly done (and not a great idea anyway) that it doesn't work. If toy network wants to make horrible Sonic dolls, the least they could do is leave poor America out of it. But, they go for the bizzarre and annoying on every level so not even the USA is safe from attacks of 'badly made'. It's not like the doll is great either, seen here with shrivelled shoes & odd face proportions in the turn around photo at right. Right side photo & owned by Jakeinator100|
|Stop insulting America with these LAME plushes! It's making it look like America is full of ugly cheap junk! (well, it does have some ugly cheap junk, but it really appriciates good stuff...) This selection puts people into fear that there may be a "Patriotic Knuckles" let's hope we never find him! (oh, too late now)
Amy here has wrinkle spikes, a horrible anti-fashion USA Flag dress, and melty legs. Tails is dressed like Uncle Sam, and Sonic has a slap-on "Home of the Brave" shirt and phony flag. You'd have to be brave, to tolerate these plushes!
|Well here's "patriotic Knuckles" They didn't even do anything to this one aside from adding in some dumb "America the beautiful" t-shirt. Well it's less pretty now that it's got this doll in it...|
|However. Aside from having on some inappropriate T-shirt, this Knuckles isn't their usual awful fare. The eyes are on the face, and it's not totally disproportionate. The fists are flat,|
|and the knuckle spikes are small and shrivelled, but it is far less than their usual offense. His head spikes are kind of oddly done, but the tail curve and body size is actually starting to make sense. This guy doesn't even seem like he belongs with the above monstrosities. Could they actually be making an effort? Photos by kaji123.|
|Not 1 but TWO dumb 4th of July themed Amys? 1 was more than enough to try & wreck up Independence Day. Now here's "Liberty Amy" with stupid silver random 'liberty crown' thing... the statue was never even silver, it was always brown or green. The crown looks like heavy metal spikes or something. Her dress now says "Happy Birthday America", but this doll is so ugly it guarentees an UNhappy birthday with stubby limbs (shoes sticking out of dress!) fat ears, and horribly positioned too-big plastic eyes. Her expression is frowny too...but with that junky crown... no one would be happy. Photo discovered by: KatAndSilver||This is probably part of a more complete (and ugly) "Uncle Sam" type dressed Sonic doll. It's got the tacky nonsense pants but no stupid shirt. Why are the buckles on TOP of his shoes?|
|The same reason for his wilted ears & mushy face: bad quality as usual! Photo discovered by Chaos Control Luigi|
|Boy Knuckles doll here sure is....crazy....for the 4th! (Or something) This overzealous looking plush looks like it has that stupid "America" themed headband/crown/bandana (what is it even) on too tight & it's pulling his face up. What are these crowns? Obviously it's the same Amy as above but nobody ever wore these trying to be like the statue of liberty. The statue started out copper colored then turned green! It was never silver or flag-themed with inexplicable cones all over. Why do they want to dump on America with so much dumb from these dolls? July? Jul-SIGH.|
|Despite the age of these things, another is discovered in 2020, with this "Happy Birthday America" Shadow shirt plush. He's as disgruntled as the rest of them, wrinkly of face & badly sewn of plastic eye...and that tee guarantees America to not have a happy 4th when this un-quality thing was produced. He was supposed to be holding a cheapo American Flag but that is missing from his hand/there wasn't anything special about it. All their 'accessories' were always so generic or wierd. Despite being a part of the crud, these are actually becoming a bit unusual to own/see in 2020. Photo & owned by TheJakeanator100|
|He's here next to "Easter Egg" Knuckles & Tails (seen above too in Easter section) who have their poorly paint brushes at the ready. (Knuckles did have one, it is now missing. The Easter Knuckles has the same lame egg as the Tails, and other Easter plushes. (If you scroll up to the Easter section though, it's odd the actual variety of rotten eggs they did actually make...hmm) Photo & owned by TheJakeinator100|