|Even more lame nonsense you don't want!
Mutant Gear now irritates a 5th page with supid looking dolls and other horrible items made in Sonic's name. Bad design, poor products, and terrible likenesses abound. Help stamp out this bad junk by refusing to buy it! Remember: when mutant makers don't get money, they won't make more mutants. However, when you don't have it, you can come here to make fun of it! (and why is it STILL plushes that go so wrong??)
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Mutant Gear 6 *
|Somebody call the quality control cops! This Shadow's breaking allll the rules! He enters the "3 Legged Race" in just the wrong way. With one arm somehow randomly replaced with an extra leg (complete with shoe!) this is obviously a terrible mistake plush. A mistake is one thing, but be sure to see his other stupid, mutant features. The mouth is blending up into the eye. What's that wrinkly flap going all the way around his eyes? Why does his body look wide & square? His fingers look like a fork, no thumb & all the same length. His head stripe is also clearly too wide. Look at the tag. This is clearly an official doll (who's responsible for this! Yikes) but it's also small. Rip-stop paper tags like that are usually only an inch or two, tops. Photo discovered by 09SonicFan|
|These 2 plushes appear here, as it seems like Jazwares is actually getting WORSE at making dolls. These are their standard 6 or 8 inch or whatever small size Sonic & Shadow, but unlike the ones on the USA Plushes official page, they're in even worse shape. This particular photo is Entertainment Earth (a web store) who appears to have gotten some particularly bad ones. Look at Sonic's awful ears, Shadow's face is just a horrible mess, both of their expressions are a complete failure, & their non-existant necks (entire face width just sewn to shoulders nonsensically) doesn't help anything. If Jazwares is going to let the quality slip even more than the originals...they belong on Mutant Gear for sure. Photo discovered by:|
|Uh oh, it's the Hunch-Backpack of Noter-LAME! What were they even THINKING when they made up this terrible backpack? No one will want it because it's so stupid looking. What's really a shame though, is they put a lot of effort into properly embroidering the details & shaping the shoes. The hands are little stubby junks with terrible fingers, though. The super short terrible legs, big wierd head, improper 'tombstone' like shape, & mutated spikes really ruin this. With tons of better Sonic themed school bags already in existance, why did Spencers feel they needed to add this to the mutation pile? This is a Spencers Gifts item, and it is 19.99 in 2014, but hopefully no one buys it. Discovered by ShadowFoxx757|
|Why is the mutant problem mostly with plush dolls?
They won't allow unprofessional scribbly art onto merchandise, so why do they keep approving of rotten looking sewing projects? This terrible Tails plush "has a sound effect" but no noise will save it from looking awful. (all it does is do the ring - get -chime) This doll looks like it might be super tiny, like 3 or 5 inches, due to poor detail & general lack of proportions, but it's larger. With the tiny eyes, cone like ears, creepy stare expression and tiny tails this doll is just very un-Tails-like. Anything with Tails should be cute or fun...this just isn't. It's a mutant for sure. Photo by Taaron.
|What is there left to say about Toy Network?
Their Big the Cat looked so good, then how can this awful Amy look so bad! Yes she DID get out without her dress, which shows how the doll is under-stuffed. Missing 1 dress? Better add TWO mouths! We've had 2-mouth-Tails before, so now here's an Amy to add to the unfortunate list. The mouthes aren't even properly placed anyway. Someone tried (and failed) to sell this on Ebay (naturally) How does stuff with this much wrong with it actually manage to keep getting made? It is a mystery.
|Wow, a first of it's kind...a mutant t-shirt!
How did this happen? Shirts & art usually CANT be mutant, because they use officially licensed art (or else they are a bootleg) However, it looks like something's gone wrong (Whether accidentally or deliberately) with the art on this tee. Look at how stubby/short/squashed down Sonic looks! Did they squeeze the art in photoshop to fit it on a kids' size tee? Did they combine a big head with a small body? Is his open (in back) hand too 'fat'? It looks distorted. You can see the official stamp in the back collar there, so it's not a phony, but why let out this odd art? Skip this tee if you see it.
|NKOK leaps into the mutant garbage pile with this terrible toy. This Tails was spotted inside one of their small All Stars Racing Transformed toy small size cars. The little Tails figure in there is tiny, but that's no excuse for it looking like a cruddy bootleg. They weren't even trying with the eye position, you can see how the lower face is all off-kilter (top part of edge-fur is orange) mis-printed ear-insides and wierd wonky tail paint finishes the bad job. Are all of these AST toys as bad as this one, or was this just a mutated mistake?|
|Is this real, or is it fake?
It has a paper tag, copyright, cloth tag & tries to make itself look legit...but if it is, it's mutant matter for sure! First, what's going on with his horribly messy hand? The fingers are wound up with eachother? The second hand looks crumpled. His ears have no edges/borders, & the embroidered eyes are kind of wrongly positioned. The shoes also have too much detail. The white stripe is in Metal Sonic's shoe pattern position...however he still has the buckles on the proper places. Over all, it's just a really wierd set up for the doll. Mistakes, messy fingers, poorly looking face/ears...but then quality enough matieral & a legitimate looking tag. Photo by:
|Pathetic Plushes Plauge onwards!
Look at this horrible, withered Knuckles! He's got flimsy spikes, shrivelled shoes, flappy nose & mushy, tiny fists. This doll is just awful, who thought it was ok to make it? Making the characters' spikes (doesn't matter who it is) out of flimsy felt strips will never ever look good. Sure the eyes are embroidered, but quality 1 place doesn't cover up for something like "that giant fisted guy" who now has mysteriously small fists. And look at the spikes on them too, the one had appears to have them pointing the wrong way. The colors for the shoes are correct, and there's a paper tag...but his over-all withered/shrivelling appearance just can't be saved. What company is responsible for making this nasty Knuckles? (For absolutely no one to collect) Photo by:
|Boom isn't immune to mutants!
As this terrible Tomy shadow is here to prove. Yes he actually DID get produced and sold without the black centers to his eyes. Yes it DOES make him look extra scary and terrible. Not that the rest of him is any sort of a treat either. There's nothing particularly 'boom' about him, his expression is kind of nasty, the ears don't sit right & the shoes are big/rounded/strangely shaped. Mostly his problem is his distorted head shape (aside from the obvious eye error)
Do notice that he's official though, you can see Tomy there on the tag under the hand. For how much they're charging for these dolls, this would be super sad if it came in the mail after an online order. Photo discovered by:
|Here's another Jazwares to add to the mutation list.
It's not terrible like nasty withered Knuckles above, but it's also not very good at all. It's supposed to be 'regular Knuckles', not like a little bighead/chibi styled one which starts it off not-so-well because the body is just tiny & the legs are so short. Next, look at the thin and tiny fists for a character who's giant fists give him his name. The eyes are embroidered for quality, but with the way the black areas are positioned he looks a bit crosseyed. This is one of those cases where the toy isn't horribly mutated, it's well-enouch made but they didn't really give that much consideration to the design. Photo discovered by:
|What sound does a flop make?
Press this keychain to find out! This sad plush is too big to be a keychain, but still big enough to be lame looking. Due to limits of size (and more likely bad design) this "Sound effects plush keychain" makes it into the hall of mutants. Sonic suffers from a big nose, wierd eyebrow...things, tiny stubby arm/fist appendages & sort of oddly placed ears. If you press him, it makes the 'collect a ring' noise & that's it. (Remember, Japan proved in the 90s that tiny plush can both be done well, sturdily & cute, this guy doesn't make the cut) This could sometimes be found at Party City (why a party store? Thats sort of random) in 2015 & 2016 simply because they never sold out--and you can see why, it's not very Sonic-like.
|What's this...a mutant...description?
The doll here is actually fantastic! (The first time that sentance ever appears on Mutant Gear, to be sure) It's the description that is mutant, but wrong in a really strange way twice. (Nitpick mode will now engage)
It says: "Silver Sonic, Bionic Sonic" (This is wrong right away, nothing Eggman made was ever "Bionic" which means an animal or human with artificial electro-mechanical body parts--ex. a pirate with a peg-leg is not bionic, but someone with a working battery-op replacement hand would be. Trapping an animal inside a robot does NOT make it bionic. Also, the "Silver Sonic" buzz-saw boss from Sonic 2 did not contain a tiny animal anyway, & the GG one had an emerald.)
|"The evil bos in the Scrambled Egg Zone of the Sonic the Hedgehog 2 video game is recreated in this cool 13 inch tall plush" then, they label it "Silver Sonic 13 inch plush".
What's interesting is that it's wrong but pulls fairly obscure info in order to BE wrong. Finding Silver The Hedgehog at this point would be FAR EASIER than digging up the obscure Game Gear boss & misprinting info on it--especially because most search results come with a photo/art.
They're labeling him not the Sonic 2 boss, but the Game Gear Scrambled Egg boss, that's far more obscure. This one was powered by a chaos emerald instead of an animal, that's why it took 8 hits to kill it. It also looks even LESS like Sonic OR Silver the hedgehog. (Pincher hands, yellow belly, slot eye, rocket shoes...just ...everything) Also, look at the 'cute gift' label they put on something that they then call 'evil' in the very next sentance. Isn't that all adding up to be something strange that qualifies as the mutant description? Interesting. Scan provided by: SuperSonic Gaming